Edson: A Christmas Request For Mrs. Ford and HER Lions

Since we’ve learned that complaining about a problem doesn’t seem to help in the case of the Detroit Lions, I’ve decided to tackle the problem head on.

It’s the first clean tackle of the season as far as Lions fans are concerned. My annual appeal for help is going directly to owner Martha Ford this time.

Dear Mrs. Ford,

May I call you Martha? (Sound of Charlie Brown’s teacher talking back to me).

Oh, I’m sorry… I’ll just call you Mrs. Ford then.

This is meant as a compliment, believe me, but you’ve been around the NFL a long time. In fact, you’ve been around for a long time and managed to stash away quite a bit of money.

(For the record, Mrs. Ford is 94-years-old and worth $1.4 billion).

So do you think, on behalf of Lions fans everywhere – and we are a shrinking bunch – you could use just a bit of that money to hire the best general manager and coach money can buy?

I don’t mean disciples of some great coach – we’ve tried that approach with current general manager Bob Quinn and coach Matt Patricia.

I’m talking about some up-and-coming coach who could turn this franchise around with the help of a good talent evaluator and general manager. I’m thinking along the lines of two Lions assistant coaches that you and your late husband didn’t think were up to the task – Don Shula and Bill Belichick.

Maybe then we wouldn’t make a turnover machine quarterback from Tampa Bay like Jameis Winston look like Johnny Unitas (you remember him?). Mr. Winston beat the Lions Sunday 38-17 by throwing for 458 yards and four touchdowns.

But you know that. Or maybe – like most of us – someone woke you up after the game to tell you the horrid details of what we wasted another three hours watching.

While you’re at it, do you think that your general manager could provide some good backup help in case of injuries? You know, those happen quite a bit in the NFL.

Or should we get used to an undrafted free agent like David Blough playing quarterback or a running back named Wes Hills being our leading ball carrier.

To tell you the truth, I hadn’t heard of either player until a couple weeks ago.

We die-hard Lions fans know this season has gone down the tubes, like it has every season since 1957.

So we have just one wish Mrs. Ford as we near Christmas. And I don’t mean to shout when I tell you this but, please: JUST SELL THE DARN TEAM!

That’s it. Just one wish.

Sincerely,

Your friend Nick.

Nick Edson is a retired Hall of Fame columnist and sportswriter. He worked 25 years at the Traverse City Record-Eagle, 18 as sports editor. He is a two-time president of the Associated Press Sports Editors Association and a member of the Michigan Basketball Coaches Hall of Fame.

Categories: Football